


knelt beside my hope torn apart

by mostlikelydefinentlymad



Series: PROMPT FILLS [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Daylighter Simon Lewis, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Prompt Fill, Protective Raphael, they are soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-25 12:51:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9821237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlikelydefinentlymad/pseuds/mostlikelydefinentlymad
Summary: Raphael gathered the limp body in his arms and rocked him back and forth, lips pressed to a chilled forehead."Please," he pleaded, voice cracking. He would not break down, not here, not now.(Simon is gravely injured by Valentine and Raphael is not coping. consider this an alternate s2 finale ending)





	1. hope in the darkness

**Author's Note:**

> PROMPT:  
> Maybe you can write something where Simon gets kidnapped by the Circle and is drained of some of his blood. Raphael finds a dying Simon and is distraught. 
> 
> ((thank you for the incredible prompt, Boh! it's unspoken that they're not on good terms and it's a day late but I hope you like it))

Prompt fill: for _[Boh](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9810677/comments/95316872)_

_(I hope you like it)_

**+**

* * *

 

Simon's throat felt sticky and dry. His body cramped and ached as if Valentine had broken him down and reassembled what was left, sloppily.

36hrs ago he'd been sat in a worn red booth at The Jade Wolf complaining about the plight of life after death as one does. Luke had listened patiently, offering sage advice when the young vampire sighed, head on his folded arms. At that point the worst of his problems centered around Raphael's concerned tirade about his sneaking home to DuMort a scant two hours before sunrise. As a thick cord rubbed bruises against his wrists and denim covered legs, he nearly laughed. How simplistic his problems had been, how predictable. 

Using what little strength he could muster, Simon rolled his head to the side. If he were to find at least one identifying mark within the holding room, he could... _die_. That's what. Everyone knew where Downworlders stand in the world of shadows. Their deaths were nothing more than a blip on the radar and a nobody vampire was no exception. He struggled against rubber tubing, a sharp needle in his arm to no avail. Days ago, Valentine's right hand man had strapped him to a cold bench surrounded by cloudy vials that soon filled up with the nauseating bright red of his own blood without so much as a _How do you do?_  

The room began to spin, Simon slipped into the darkness having succumbed to a near fatal blood loss. 

* * *

 

At the man's side, Valentine Morgenstern's mouth curled into a dark smile. "Drain him," he'd ordered. 

"No, no no - I-I'm disgusting and my blood tastes awful l-like black jelly beans, yeah." Simon pulled a face. When it did nothing to deter his captors, he decided to negotiate. Raphael had once called his stubborn argumentative nature an asset that would work in their favor at some point. Surely convincing a group of rogue shadowhunters to allow him his freedom in exchange for a pint or two of vampire blood would be a piece of cake.  "Y'want some of my blood? Y-you can have it, I've got plenty but not- not all of it," Simon stammered.

His pleas went unnoticed as a needle pierced his skin on each side. 

* * *

 

Raphael ripped through the men like tissue paper, his fangs dripped with the acrid taste of blood. Valentine had put up a strong fight and taunted the clan leader about his fledgling, rearing for a fight. If Raphael were to take the shadowhunters life he would give up his own and the Clave would not be merciful nor swift. Simon needed him. He managed to corner the circle leader and back him into a safe room. He barricaded the door with steel piping, bending it to fit. 

"I could kill you," Raphael snarled through a peephole. 

Valentine stalked toward the door, eyes pinning Raphael's. "As you should."

Raphael pounded the door once with his fist, eyes wild under the flickering light. "Where is he!"

"I could help you," Valentine began. "We could take down the shadow world together. I know you hate them as I do. For generations they've tortured and burned your kind at the stake-"

Rather than listen to the raving of a man gone mad with power, Raphael clenched his hand and raced away. The scent of caramel led him around winding halls, panicked and whispering prayers to Saint Jude, patron saint of the lost. On the second floor, third room the fragrance was at it's strongest. When he stormed through the door, he found a ghostly white Simon, blood streaming down his arms. 

* * *

 

"Simon," he breathed, dropping to his knees. 

The boy did not move. Raphael made quick work of removing the needles, the tubing, the ropes. 

 _"San Judas, reza por mi. Estoy tan indenfenso y solo,"_ he murmured. Blessed Saint Jude helps those who cannot help themselves, his dear mama (God be with her) had prayed faithfully to him after his father's untimely disappearance. Surely he would bring his Simon back from death for the second time. Once freed, Raphael gathered the limp body in his arms and rocked him back and forth, lips pressed to a chilled forehead. 

"Please," he pleaded, voice cracking. He would not break down, not here, not now. 

Simon required the warm blood of mundanes, a shadowhunter - anything but from the veins of a dead man walking in order to revive him. The tangy liquid would flow through his fatigued veins and replace the worrying amount of blood he'd lost. It was the only way and Raphael was desperate. He carefully peeled back the blood stained front of Simon's jacket and groped the side until his fingers landed on a small device. The idiots had not thought to remove Simon's phone in their haste to collect the blood of a vampire. 

"Stay with me,  _bebé._ I'm calling your shadowhunter for help, she will come." 

The phone rang and rang until, frustratingly, it went to voicemail. He tried three more times before firing off a text in all caps - _THIS IS RAPHAEL SANTIAGO, S_ _IMON IS DYING. I AM SENDING YOU OUR COORDINATES, COME AT ONCE._

Less than four minutes later, the phone pinged. _'Clary and I are on our_ _way, do you need-'_

The phone died before he could finish reading Jace's reply.

* * *

 

Ten minutes later, Clary froze in the doorway. Simon was gathered in Raphael's arms, sagging as if he were a ragdoll. His cheeks were smeared with the same red that streamed from the clan leader's eyes. He would not have allowed a shadowhunter to see him in such a state if it were not dire. 

Jace took Clary's hand in his own, the only words coming from her mouth were a litany of - "Oh my God, _Simon."_

"Give me your wrist," Raphael urged, tone soft and low as he regarded the taller boy. "The longer we wait, the more he fades."

Jace hesitated, gaping at Clary. "For me," she pleaded. 

Raphael did not know the shadowhunter on a personal basis but he'd been present at Simon's wake. He'd offered nothing but compassion for Clary Fray as she sobbed in his arms. He would not let them down. Jace surged forward, kneeling on the floor. 

"Make it quick," he gritted. The clan leader sliced a jagged line through a vein and gently lifted Simon's head up to drink. The other hand held Jace's wrist in a firm grip just in case he should decide to change his mind. 

 _"Beber para mi,"_ Raphael murmured. 

Crimson drops steadily flowed into the fledglings open mouth and the wait began. Minutes passed that felt like centuries until Simon's tongue ran over his bottom lip. Clary sobbed in relief, hands coming up to cover her mouth. Never before had Raphael felt such gratitude toward a shadowhunter but he felt it was impossible not to as Simon clutched Jace's wrist and sucked hungrily. 

 

"Okay...it's starting to hurt now," Jace complained as Simon slowed his pace. 

 

Raphael stroked his thumb over Simon's iron grip on the shadowhunters wrist. "That's enough for now  _bebé._ Release him." The fledgling's color had returned slightly and his skin felt warm to the touch. Simon obeyed, falling back into his arms as Jace wrapped a piece of fabric over his wound. 

"God, Simon. I'm so sorry," Clary murmured as she pressed a kiss to his cheek. Raphael bit back a possessive urge to hiss and push her far away from them. She was Valentine's daughter and due to her connection with Simon, he'd nearly died. Again. Nonetheless she'd also helped save him by way of Jace Wayland. He could not deny that.

Simon groaned, voice ragged and weak. "My head hurts." 

Raphael laughed dryly, "He wakes up complaining." 

Jace wrapped Clary up in a loose hug, her laughter turning into sobs of relief. She honestly did care for Simon in a way that trekked back to early childhood, Raphael knew that much. Simon had spent an evening recounting stories six days after moving into DuMort in order to calm his bloodlust and a tiny seed of jealousy began to form in the clan leader. It wasn't that he couldn't share so much as it was  _I can't lose you._

"You're bleeding." Simon brushed a thumb over a dried path of blood on the underside of Raphael's jaw. His dark eyes were full of anguish, confusion. The touch was tender and Raphael leaned into it, head bowed. 

"They nearly drained you to the point of death," he stated. When the children of the night cry, the body reacts with rivulets of life flowing with no destination in mind. The body recognizes pain. 

The fledgling seemed to have felt the words Raphael could not voice. "Y-you cried? For me?" 

* * *

 

The door creaked closed as Jace and Clary stepped out, knowing this was a moment of even greater vulnerability for the proud clan leader. The fact that Clary Fray entrusted her treasured best friend in his presence without filling it with her own was a vast show of trust. 

* * *

 

 _"Si,"_ Raphael murmured. "I did." 

"But...why? I'm nothing special, I'm-"

 _"Idiota,"_ the clan leader murmured fondly. He tipped Simon's chin up and- _oh but_  kissing Simon was dizzying. When soft blood stained lips pressed into his own, Raphael felt as if he were being brought back to life.

Simon lifted himself up and out of Raphael's lap, eagerly tilting his head to deepen the kiss. His cheeks had pinkened, warmth returning from the grave. When their tongues brushed together for the first time, Simon _moaned_. He wasn't even close to being fully recovered but he would gladly draw it out for as long as possible if it meant tasting Raphael, licking into his mouth. 

They moved together, exploring and taking their time. The clan leader was careful not to overdo it.

 

They'd been so lost in one another that neither registered the door opening. 

 

Clary gasped. Jace grinned, an almost proud glint in his eye.

Raphael broke away reluctantly and blinked at the duo. He and Simon must look quite a sight with blood smudged faces, lips bitten and kiss bruised. This wasn't how he'd imagined their first kiss would go but none of that mattered now. 

The ginger haired shadowhunter hid a chuckle behind her palm. "Umm, I take this to mean our game night is back on?" 

The fledgling beamed, cheeks pinkened and hand groping for Raphael's as they stood. "Yeah," he smiled. "Yeah I guess so. But  _not_ tonight." 

Clary Fray rolled her eyes in disbelief, smirking. Her best friend had nearly died - for real this time - _and_ she'd walked in on him liplocking his clan leader. That was enough action for one day. "Honestly, Simon?"

Jace stuck a hand out for Raphael to shake in a show of congratulations and hastily retreated when the other man stared at him blankly. The shadowhunter smirked, recovering his confidence with a firm pat to the clan leader's arm instead. "Congrats man. It's too bad he nearly had to die to make a move." Clary promptly elbowed him.

Simon deadpanned. "Thanks for the support, Jace."

As cozy as the moment was, Valentine still needed to be dealt with. Raphael would leave that up to the shadowhunters. There would be nothing left of the man if it were up to him. 

"So...Valentine," Clary quipped. 

Jace dialed a number on his phone, calling for reinforcements. 


	2. that I will see the light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon is a daylighter with an annoying penchant for sending Raphael photo's of light and life, nature and sunshine.

 

Raphael groaned, nearly pitching his phone across the bedroom. 

 

Simon's name popped up with a new text reading, "Isn't it beautiful :)"

It was the sixth picture in the past four hours that he'd sent. Jace's blood had turned Simon into a daylighter and he hadn't shut up about it since. They were two and a half weeks out from that horrid night and Raphael wanted to pluck his beloved from the screen to give him a stern lecture about sleeping hours. Simon could sacrifice the morning as he liked, Raphael adamantly refuses. The photo was one more in a collection of wispy clouds, a brilliant blue sky, a blinding view of the sun. He'd even snapped birds resting on a telephone line as the sun peaked out from behind. 

"Clary says hi!! :)" Attached was a shot of Simon grinning goofily at the screen and Clary making a  _It was his idea_ face at his side. 

"Go away," Raphael texted. He'd rather be curling up next to his fledgling than seeing a pixelated version. Sunshine or no, he preferred sharing his bed with Simon's warmth, the bulk of his weight as he shifted on the mattress. 

His reply was ignored and countered with a clip of a small brown bird and Simon narrating. "That over there is a sedge wrin. It sings, like me. Can you hear it, Rafe? Let me see if I can zoom in." Clary joined in next, "No, you're making it blurry. Here, give it to me." The video panned to a speck of a bird as they chattered in the background then back to Simon's face. It ended a second later. 

His incessant need to show Raphael a world he would never again witness was sweet. Even so, Raphael swore under his breath as he placed the phone on Simon's pillow.

 

_Ding_

Another video, this time Clary wasn't present. Instead, Simon beamed at the camera all sunshine and big brown eyes. "Almost forgot," he glanced in the opposite direction and back again. "I...uh...there's something I wanted to say...I love you. Whew, that's out there.  Um, I'll be home in about..." He looked down, presumably at his watch. "Five minutes give or take. See you then." The video ended and Raphael shot up in bed, replaying it twice just to be sure he heard right. 

_I love you._

_Love._

**+**

 

"Simon loves me," he mumbled to the quiet. The impossible fledgling with a mouth that never stops talking and kisses twice as much, who fell in and out of love with his best friend. His Simon that Valentine nearly send to an early grave. The awkward mundane who'd made quite the first impression by lodging a dagger in Raphael's chest. The one who gave him his first heartbreak, who put up with Raphael passive aggressively returning the favor numerous times. The same boy who sleeps with two thick blankets out of sheer habit and kicks most of them off by nightfall -  _loves._

He stumbled out of bed gracelessly with phone in hand, intent upon going somewhere. Doing something. Like what? Hounding Lily until she offered a useful piece of advice about love and keeping it? Tempting but no dice. He glanced down at Simon's holey plaid pajama bottoms and shook his head. Proper clothing then. Three minutes passed as he huffed at the wardrobe, flicking past jackets in various muted colors and ties. Surrendering to his homely fate he retreated to the hall, bare feet slapping on cool marble. No one would be awake at this hour so he took a detour to the main room and helped himself to a bag of AB+.  

 

**+**

 

He knew the exact moment Simon entered DuMort, having committed his scent to memory. Simon Lewis who  _loves_ him. The fledgling managed to squeak out three words before Raphael backed him up against a wall.

"Oh hey, you're-"

Simon smelled of trees and sunshine and New York in the daylight. He was an exhilarating combination of pure earthy goodness and sun kissed cheeks. Raphael flattened a hand across Simon's chest and nosed at his neck. I want this, he thought, for every second of eternity.  

He breathed in deep, savoring. "You smell good." 

Simon's entire body tensed taut as a bow, eyes sliding closed of their own accord as he recalled what he'd confessed. "Did you - I left you a messa- a video really. You haven't watched it I'm guessing, why would you? I probably woke you up? Dammit, I thought you'd still be asleep. Kinda throws a wrench in my plan," he rambled, chuckling nervously. 

Raphael trailed soft open mouth kisses over Simon's neck, _love love love. Dios, I love..._ "I watched it. Birds, right?" Sometimes it brought him joy to make Simon squirm just to hear his voice as he fumbled over words and - he was too far gone on this boy. 

Simon scratched at the base of his neck, uncomfortably. "Yeah. That's the sedge wrin, I wish you could see it in person. Under the sun and all that. Clary said I shouldn't wake you up but I told her I had something important to say and maybe you'd sleep through it-"

 _"Simon,"_ Raphael said, voice firm. He kissed a path to Simon's ear and whispered. " _Te amo, bebe."_

 

The warm body in his arms instantly relaxed. "You know you don't have to say it just because I did, right," Simon replied, breathily. He stared at a point over and above Raphael in hopes of hiding the flicker of hope and fear in his eye. If he looked into those dark eyes -- what if his own starry eyed love wasn't reflected there? In what world would someone like Raphael Santiago fall in love with a ratty fledgling with a smart mouth? Throw in poor impulse control and he was quite the catch. 

Raphael cocked his head to the side in a sleepy attempt at pulling rank but it fell flat. Simon couldn't take him seriously in flannel pajama bottoms, they were so out of place on him. His normally tamed black wavy hair and bare feet made him appear younger, shorter, _softer_ until he opened his mouth. 

"Stop complaining and kiss me." 

 Don't have to tell me twice, Simon thought. He bunched a hand in Raphael's gray t-shirt and sank into the kiss. When you love someone it colors everything with such a tenacious hunger until you swear you'd give everything you own just to  _exist_ together. He had never felt more inexplicably alive than he did when Raphael's kisses turned to sweet endearments in his native language, his hands seemingly everywhere at once. G-d it felt like being reborn with _him_.

To the world at large they're bulletproof but under DuMort's roof, they're _Simon &Raphael _who share clothes and argue over spooning; the injustice of Simon being the big spoon. 

Raphael followed the swoop of an arm with his fingertips, hand coming up to nudge the younger vampire closer. "Say it again," he pleaded. Speak it into existence so I know it's real. 

 _"Iloveyou."_ As far as revelations of love go, Simon's was far from smooth but somehow, it was beautiful in the way his tongue stumbled over the words. Should he speak without the hint of a nervous stammer, Simon would not be the headstrong boy from Brooklyn NY who is an actual villain in most movies and books but scared of clowns in real life. _That's_ who Raphael fell for from the first.

Reaching between them, he laced their fingers together. Simon blushed a light shade of pink and Raphael couldn't help but feel it under his fingertips. "Beautiful," he murmured. When the color only deepened, he kissed each side. "Come to bed,  _mi amor."_  Together they made their way to Raphael's room and this time, they did not argue when Raphael curled around Simon. 

 

**+**

 

They're the sun and moon side by side, defying the odds. A daylighter in love with the night - Raphael wouldn't have it any other way. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> credit for the simon sending raphael daylighter pictures goes to a snapchat edit that I cannot find. if you know where it's at, feel free to let me know and I'll credit them :)
> 
> I hope ch2 isn't too OOC? I drafted and edited it many times over in hopes of getting it right.

**Author's Note:**

> San Judas, reza por mi. Estoy tan indenfenso y solo: Saint Jude, pray for me. I am so helpless and alone. 
> 
> The rest of the novena which is not in the fic includes:  
> Intercede with God for me that He bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, particularly -  
> (Simon Lewis)
> 
> Beber para mi: drink for me
> 
> (apologies for any mistakes, feel free to let me know and I'll correct them)


End file.
